I hate packing.
The guest bed was covered in stacks of outfits in varying coordinated color schemes, along with scarves, jackets, shoes, toiletries, passport, and books. I was so excited about the upcoming trip to Europe, that I was strategizing my packing weeks before departure. I agonized over every detail, trying to anticipate what I would need to stay stylish, comfortable, and efficient.
Contrast that with a couple of days ago, when my suitcase remained empty until a few hours before my plane was to depart, at which point I threw in a few comfy basics and ran out the door. Only once I was settled onto my flight, did I wonder if I had packed what I would realistically need.
Do you hate packing?
My friend N recently agreed with me, “I hate packing too,” she said. And this gal is a traveling queen. She is always planning her next few trips. So why would someone who loves planning trips hate packing?
Researchers say that planning your trip makes you happier than going on said trip. But what about packing?
Most people rate packing as the second most stressful part of the trip besides getting through airport security.
I have always experienced a decent amount of anxiety around packing and preparing for a trip. The last-minute tasks and urgencies always seem to pile up in the day or two before a trip.
I like to feel organized. First, it’s packing to ensure that I will be prepared and have what I need while being as efficient as possible. Second, it’s also making sure my house is clean and organized when I leave. It’s not fun to come back from a fun trip and step into chaos left over from the pre-trip craziness. Third, it’s ensuring that everything is set for my two doggies whether they are staying home with the sitter or coming with me on a road trip. Last, comes all the details of finalizing any loose ends at your workplace, informing family and neighbors of your travel, cleaning out the refrigerator, dumping the garbage, and verifying your ride or car parking.
So, packing is definitely not the happiest part of the trip for me. But attention to the packing can go a long way to ensure less stress and more enjoyment on the trip.
There are endless resources available on the internet about packing strategies. Once you travel a few times, you figure out a routine and strategy that works well for you whether you travel with only a backpack or take the full-size checked luggage.
Is there a less anxious way to pack?
But what if there was a better way to approach our packing to reduce our anxiety around preparing for a fun trip? Can we grow beyond always saying “I hate packing”?
Is it really anxiety about making sure you get the right shirts in the suitcase or the house clean before you leave? Or is it more about feeling in control? Perhaps it’s also the weight of emotions and identity that you are carrying along on the trip.
Control
It’s hard to feel in complete control while you pack. Control and anxiety are always holding hands while you pack.
You might not be familiar with your destination and thus you don’t have control over what to expect. You certainly don’t have control over the weather, nor do you have control over circumstances and routine the way you might at home.
In attempts to ease my need to control, I try to remind myself that in most destinations, I can buy what I forgot with relative ease, even though it might be annoying or inconvenient. I can be organized but I can’t realistically anticipate every need or want.
Emotions
The anxiety experienced with packing is also linked to emotions such as worthiness, status, grief, fear, doubt, insecurity, loneliness, rejection, and pessimism.
You might also be feeling expectation, excitement, anticipation, nervousness, worry, happiness, or relief.
When you subconsciously bring these emotions into the packing process, clarity is compromised, and anxiety increases.
First, acknowledge your anxiety and emotions. Simply observe your feelings without judgment or meaning.
Then ask yourself if any of these emotions are feelings you want to pack along on your trip.
Now you can begin to consciously consider what feelings you want to pack on your trip. This opens a whole world of possibility and clarity around your packing.
Perhaps you want to focus on being casual and comfortable so you can fully relax. Or you may want to be outdoors as much as possible and should consider all the weather possibilities for your activities. Maybe you want to feel glamorous, beautiful, or handsome every day. Now you can pack intentionally for the way you choose to feel.
Identity
Most of us have a certain identity that is associated with our style of dress and the way we present ourselves. Depending on the type of trip—business or pleasure—you may have a specific identity that is important to convey, and this can add anxiety to the packing process. You might want to ensure a level of confidence and competence at a professional conference. Or you may want to make sure you appear as an experienced hiker or adventurer.
Business travel aside, much of the enjoyment of going to a new place is that it allows you the freedom to release your identity temporarily. You can try on whatever identity or persona you wish because nobody knows you. Isn’t that exciting?
What do you want to pack?
A powerful question I like to ask before any trip or experience is: What kind of memories do I want to make?
This question helps me consider what feelings I want to pack and which ones I should leave at home.
My trip last week was focused on quality time with friends. We purposely didn’t set much of a schedule or agenda. I wanted to focus my feelings on contentment.
My desire was to feel content without having to cram in a visit to every person I knew in the area or pushing to do every possible activity. I also wanted my teenage “nieces” to see their middle-aged aunt as a woman who is content and confident with who she is.
With my thoughts guided by feelings of contentment, I was able to quickly pack for outdoor walks, indoor lounging, and a dinner out. It turned out I had everything I needed and more. My trip was smooth and enjoyable. And I reduced the time and anxiety of packing, even if I still don’t love the process of packing.
When you catch yourself mumbling “I hate packing,” stop for a moment. Consider the emotions that are contributing to your stress. Then focus only on the feelings you want to pack with you on the trip. Your thoughts will become clearer and you will hate packing a little less.
And here’s a teaser question for an upcoming sequel: How do you feel about unpacking?