Here’s My 9 Top Life Coaching Lessons from my two-week ski trip with friends
Ski Week 1
I kept glancing out the window all morning. The fog remained dense.
“WTF?” I thought. “What the fog?” is what I have been thinking all winter.
On this day, however, I had a flight that would be carrying me to rendezvous with my friends for two weeks of snow skiing.
This was going to be the first time ever taking two full weeks off to ski and I was excited. I wanted all the travel plans to work out perfectly, to manifest great snow conditions despite the El Nino year, and to force my body into cooperation despite my chronic pain and lower fitness level.
Two hours before the flight, I flicked open my airline app for the twelfth time to check that my flight was on time.
FLIGHT CANCELLED. Please call customer service for a new itinerary.
Stupid fog, I thought, as my cortisol levels shot up. Now the whole trip is going awry. Catastrophic thinking is one of my go-to coping behaviors.
And thanks to my worst-case scenario tendencies, I had already been working on a backup plan.
Quickly, I got online and booked a flight using mileage on a different airline, departing from a regional airport less prone to fog than my local airport. Then I made a refund request, secured a ride to the airport from family, and updated my friends on my flight change.
Life Lesson 1
It is so easy to lose our focus and flexibility when plans need to be adjusted. And yet, life and travel are full of mandatory adjustments to our intended course. Often those adjustments are quite simple if we remain calm.
It usually works out
My new flight landed in Salt Lake City, and I collected my ski gear. I was a solo parade dragging my long ski bag and roller bag with gear packs on front and back of my person, as I worked my way to the passenger pick-up area just as my friends pulled up to the curb.
We hugged and cheered as I jumped in their truck. They had driven from southern California as I had flown from Washington, and we could not have timed it to the minute more perfectly despite the weather and flight changes.
This trip is going to be awesome, I thought.
Life Lesson 2
Sometimes you just need a little faith in the universe, in your friends, and most importantly, in yourself.
Sunshine and friends
Two days later, we were skiing in bright sunshine surrounded by the most beautiful peaks. A huge group of us had serendipitously convened on the mountain. A, my best friend from college had driven in from Colorado. Her old roommate happened to be in town on a ski trip and joined us. Another friend of a friend came with her husband and nephew. Later that night, more friends arrived from Colorado and another cousin came to ski for a day as well.
So much joy and fellowship packed into one day.
Life Lesson 3
When we choose to live our lives with intention and joy, we attract like-minded people who care about us.
Two of the most important moments of enjoyment for me come from skiing and laughing with friends. On this day, I felt like the luckiest girl in the world. But I believe that luck only follows intention. I choose to make time for skiing and friends, and I get this lucky confluence of beautiful moments.
Ups and Downs
In life, the highs and lows follow each other and the next day I woke up with fatigue, pain, and brain fog. My emotions were fragile and dark. I berated myself for feeling so poorly when I was fortunate enough to be in such a beautiful place.
I dragged myself to the mountain and stood debating with myself in the parking lot. The mountain conditions were sub-optimal. My body condition was also sub-optimal, and my mindset was in the dumps. And yet, I felt an obligation to go skiing.
I needed self-compassion.
Life Lesson 4
The most important aspect of personal growth is awareness followed by the ability to self-coach.
So, I put my ski boots back in the truck and took a walk around the base area. I began to talk kindly to myself while my inner critic raged.
“You are in this gorgeous alpine setting. This is your favorite type of location in the world. Breathe it in.”
“But my friends are going to be disappointed. They came to ski with me. They are going to think you are pathetic.”
“Your friends are supporting you. They want you to be healthy and understand that you might not be able to ski every day. They are just happy you are here.”
“But I came to ski and I should ski every day. I should push through the pain and fatigue. I’m just being whiny and wimpy.”
“You are on vacation. The most important part of vacation is rest and relaxation. Lean into it.”
“Your batteries need quiet to recharge. It’s ok to carve out periods of quiet.”
I kept at the compassionate self-talk all day and the emotions kept bubbling up.
Later, I called my guy J and all my emotions and fatigue came tumbling out as I virtually cried on his shoulder.
Life Lesson 5
We humans need all kinds of support. It’s not always about an action. Just being present with the person we care about is often all that is needed.
Another day, another phone
The next day I woke up feeling renewed and the mountain was also refreshed with a covering of new snow. I tentatively stepped into my skis and tested out my body on a warm-up run. It hurt a little, but the snow was soft and cushioning. Before long, I was skiing with freedom, laughing as I carved arcs in the glades of aspen trees.
When friends convened for lunch, my young nephew G2 discovered his jacket pocket was unzipped and his phone was missing. The tears of frustration and disappointment followed.
How many times have we all lost things that were important to us? It’s so easy to be frustrated and to forget that they are just things.
The boys used another family phone to locate the lost phone on the mountain and made a valiant effort to try and uncover it. This time nature won, and it will be late spring before the mountain reveals the true location of the phone.
Later over dinner, we shared many of the wacky and human moments of losing things like keys, phones, jackets, or gear.
Life Lesson 6
True wealth is gathering around the table and spending quality time together. Things are just things.
Ski Week 2
Grandpa Cookies
We hit the road for Jackson Hole, Wyoming to chase the storm pattern and enjoy some steep and deep skiing.
Excitedly, we geared up and hiked to the Bridger Gondola where we were joined by a pleasant older gentleman. He mentioned that his buddy had already called it a day. As the gondola reached the upper station, we asked if he wanted to ski with us. He said, “Sure.”
He told the young boys that if they got to the bottom with him, he had cookies. Then he impishly added that we could call him Grandpa Cookies.
Turns out he is a 44-year local of Jackson Hole and an avid skier. He toured us around the mountain in the fresh snow for over two hours. He was delightful to chat and ski with.
And sure enough, on the last gondola ride up, he pulled out homemade oatmeal raisin cookies from his pocket. Frozen cookies never tasted so good.
I thanked him for sharing his time with us and he replied, “…that his long-time knowledge of the mountain should be passed along.” I told him that is the definition of a modern elder and he thoughtfully grinned.
Life Lesson 7
When you do what you love, you meet fascinating people who share your love. And the knowledge and experiences you gain are meant to be shared with others.
New Heights
A couple of days later, the other nephew G1 got an opportunity to test himself at the next level of skiing. On this beautiful powder day, we were skiing with our friend A who is an incredible athlete. A and G1 decided to hike up to a sweet powder line above the Rendezvous Lodge.
G1 took off up the trail at great speed and then had to stop and rest. This pattern repeated itself over and over as they hiked to the top of the ridge. Eventually, they reached the top and enjoyed the ski down in the sunshine arriving at the lodge sweaty and smiling.
Life Lesson 8
Setting a pace that you can maintain is a much more predictable way to reach your goal without expending excess energy or wasting time. Those who reach their peak in life set their pace and stick with it all the way.
Last day
On our last day in Jackson Hole, we enjoyed the afternoon in town laughing together and wandering through gear shops. Then we took in an outdoor adventure film at Teton Gravity Research.
A lunch at Hatch stretched the culinary experience of both G1 and G2 and I’m proud of them reading through the menu, picking out what they liked, and ordering specifically to get certain things on the side. I’m not sure they were fully impressed with lunch the way I was, but they expanded their palate for sure. To top it off, we treated ourselves to one last Cowboy Cubano at the Cowboy Coffee Co., which is one of the best coffees I’ve ever had.
Life Lesson 9
Experiences (ski trips) with people you care about are one of the greatest joys in life. Be fully present in these moments. Try new things. Ski hard, laugh a lot, eat good food, and sleep well.
I’m also happy to report that my flight home was smooth and on time landing in beautiful sunshine. I felt content and ready to get back to work.